SERIOUS HELP NEEDED!!!!!

General discussion on all labradoodle-related matters - anything not otherwise covered by specific forums on the site.
jessie
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Location: Oxted, Surrey

SERIOUS HELP NEEDED!!!!!

Post by jessie » 07 Apr 2010, 23:56

OK - here's the thing! I am becoming DESPERATE to have a second labradoodle, but Keith keeps saying he never wanted to "live with a dog". I think he's in denial as he actually does live with Jessie, who is coming up to five!! Jessie is the most wonderful dog ever - I absolutely ADORE her. I have to point out at this stage to all those who are thinking "bloody men" - that Keith is a wonderful one-off man, whom I adore and love madly and we are most definitely sole mates, BUT he is very stubborn, did not grow up with dogs and doesn't understand my yearning and NEED for another labradoodle. To me it feels like having/wanting/needing another CHILD. It's SOO true that once you have a labradoodle ONE is NEVER enough. And I keep trying to approach the subject from time to time but to no avail.

So here's the challenge for all you Labradoodle lovers out there - how do I get him to change his mind? This is a VERY stubborn man - bear in mind that after going out with him for six years and living with him for one, (I gave him an ultimatum because my time clock was ticking by and I was desperate for children) he decided he couldn't commit and we split up for SIX PAINFUL MONTHS before getting back together and then living a wonderful life with two beautiful children who are now 18 and 17!

My need for another labradoodle is now almost as strong as my need for children then!

So how do I get my extended doodle family??? Answers most appreciated! Lesley

secretpennell
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Joined: 29 Oct 2008, 20:59

Re: SERIOUS HELP NEEDED!!!!!

Post by secretpennell » 08 Apr 2010, 00:01

Foster one. :wink:
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Josi
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Re: SERIOUS HELP NEEDED!!!!!

Post by Josi » 08 Apr 2010, 00:02

I'd just sneak it in and feign ignorance of how it got there ... maybe the Easter bunny brought it.

JasperS
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Location: Gloucestershire

Re: SERIOUS HELP NEEDED!!!!!

Post by JasperS » 08 Apr 2010, 00:08

Could you buy him a Labradoodle outfit? :lol:
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Lainey74
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Re: SERIOUS HELP NEEDED!!!!!

Post by Lainey74 » 08 Apr 2010, 00:12

It's me or the dog??!! :lol:
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http://www.labradoodle-rescue.com

Hip Dysplasia is painful & expensive. See the hip scores of BOTH parents.


DONT TRUST THE PUPPY FINDER

Adam Lindley
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Re: SERIOUS HELP NEEDED!!!!!

Post by Adam Lindley » 08 Apr 2010, 00:12

get him one as a birthday / anniversary / whatever present? :D

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MrsAdmin
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Re: SERIOUS HELP NEEDED!!!!!

Post by MrsAdmin » 08 Apr 2010, 00:16

Please DO NOT attempt to go and get another Doodle (or any other dog) without him agreeing that he wants one too.

It takes two people to want to bring another living being, whether child, dog, cat or any other animal, into their lives. To just go ahead regardless and inflict a second dog on your family would be selfish and lead to friction and unhappiness, which will have repercussions for your existing Doodle.

As someone who has two Doodles, I can say, hand on heart, they are not just double trouble but to the power of two and then some :roll: .

Having two dogs is wonderful but it is also completely different from just having one. Everything becomes far more complicated, just like increasing from an only child to having two siblings. You also get many of the same issues, rivalry, jealousy, extra expenses etc etc

My hubbie was persuaded to take on my Becky because he so loved having Jack and we had a silver wedding coming up. She just happened to be a silver Doodle so that was the excuse :wink: (and it saved him from thinking about presents, which he is lousy at choosing :lol: ).

There were times for a while when even I did think 'What have we done? :roll: ', especially when she caused havoc, ate or destroyed things, was not house trained and didn't have a clue about good behaviour. We had to start from scratch with her and this would have been a disaster if we had not both agreed to get another dog and love it regardless.

We don't give up on dogs, no matter what happens, as we regard them as another member of our little family. Sadly that pressure is not acceptable for many families and loads of adored Doodles come into Rescue because their owners have split, they couldn't cope, or it all got too much :cry: .

I don't want to put a downer on your desire for another Doodle, they are wonderful dogs, but please think carefully about what I have said.

IF your husband does come round to thinking that another dog might be desirable but is not sure then you may like to consider becoming a fosterer for The Labradoodle Trust. People who are experienced with dogs, especially the reality of having a Doodle, are welcomed with open arms, and you would be making the life of a Doodle change for the better as you prepared them for their new forever home. It would also give a wonderful chance to see how your existing dog gets along with another dog in THEIR house, not the same as liking dogs on walks or around at all.
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Adam Lindley
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Re: SERIOUS HELP NEEDED!!!!!

Post by Adam Lindley » 08 Apr 2010, 00:28

^^^^^^ Very sensible advice from Mrs A :)

Skippyandlulu
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Re: SERIOUS HELP NEEDED!!!!!

Post by Skippyandlulu » 08 Apr 2010, 07:38

I think I can remember Jessie having puppies last year. If he let you have a litter of puppies in the house then I think he can cope with one more labradoodle. :D You just need to work on him a bit more! Good luck! :D

lizziesmum
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Re: SERIOUS HELP NEEDED!!!!!

Post by lizziesmum » 08 Apr 2010, 07:57

At one time I had up to 4dogs and 3 children at home,was a working lone parent,(before the days of all goverment money)everything fine,hard work but all grew up healthy with few problems.The dogs died in old age the kids all have good jobs and there own families now.Im not saying leave him,but it doesn,t take two people in my experience,
Sorry to disagree with mrs admin but we are all different,the 1 thing we have in common is we love our Doods.Freda
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MrsAdmin
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Re: SERIOUS HELP NEEDED!!!!!

Post by MrsAdmin » 08 Apr 2010, 08:52

lizziesmum wrote:Sorry to disagree with mrs admin but we are all different,the 1 thing we have in common is we love our Doods.Freda
Hi Freda,

I don't mind in the slightest :lol: Perhaps I worded it wrong. I didn't mean to imply that one person could not look after loads of dogs on their own, anymore than every child needs two parents all the time.

What I meant was that if one partner in a family does actively NOT want a second dog then it is unfair and plain foolish (in my eyes) to take a second one on without their agreement.

Now severe arm twisting is perfectly alright until they give in.... :lol:
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lucyeff
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Joined: 08 Jan 2010, 10:07

Re: SERIOUS HELP NEEDED!!!!!

Post by lucyeff » 08 Apr 2010, 08:53

It is a difficult one. I agree with Cecilia. Sometimes some husbands don't reeeally know what they want though, so we have to help them realise :wink: :lol:

Tell him that your maternal urge is so strong you would like to adopt a herd of alpacas and that with a bit of work on the garden you think it would be a great idea, but you know what they say - only in fives or sevens. Or goats. Or a great big pot bellied pig or two that would be fine in the house and you're sure you can litter train them...

When he says no, work your way round to another doodle. It will be a slight relief, I bet.

I do think that us women have greater urges than men with things like this (hormonal?), and the menfolk sometimes are a little too practical. You do have to be prepared for the worst to happen, I know. But even if they do chew your house and poo and sick hourly all over your cream carpet, one day you look back and laugh, it's all making memories, lol! I had a rottie pup who demolished a three piece suite in my first house that I'd not even made a payment on! It was heartbreaking at the time but he was a beautiful dog, we dealt with it with training (and the eaten lino, chewed chairs...) and he certainly made us some happy memories over his lifetime.

Also, I do find that if you tend to absolutely obsess over something (like I always do, and did pre-doodle! And lovely Marsi did, too!) they become concerned for your welfare and agree that the only thing that will put a stop to the obsession is to see the positives and agree. After all, if you're carted off in a straitjacket muttering something about doodles, who would know how to work the washer?

I think when they're involved in the process however distantly, they are always glad you helped them realise what a super idea it was, and they too will feel enriched and glad they married a woman with such wonderful ideas.

Good luck on your quest!

Love from Lucy xxx

bluebell
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Joined: 23 Apr 2009, 17:16

Re: SERIOUS HELP NEEDED!!!!!

Post by bluebell » 08 Apr 2010, 08:59

Hi there

My lovely dog Indie first litter of F3's puppies are coming up to 2 years old. We are only in Reigate, you could pretend you were out for a little drive and turn up at our house!!!!

Good luck in your quest.

:oops:

bluebell
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Re: SERIOUS HELP NEEDED!!!!!

Post by bluebell » 08 Apr 2010, 09:06

Sorry about my last email. I got distracted as the pups were pooing! I meant to say that they are coming up to 2 weeks old.

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grainne
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Re: SERIOUS HELP NEEDED!!!!!

Post by grainne » 08 Apr 2010, 09:26

I'm in a similar position with my husband- sometimes he says yes, but when we have a bigger house...other times it is just an outright no.

My mum wants a labradoodle when she retires though- so I'll get my double doodle love that way!

xxx
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