SERIOUS HELP NEEDED!!!!!

[amber]

Lynne I love Loulous's new pic, it's gorgeous. I loved Jans idea too.

I find a bit of 'arnt you clever' goes down a treat too'
You have to laugh at all these, but there is a serious side to consider, as you say Lynne.
Oh do we have to be?

[daft4dogs]

jessie i think you should just do it if you want a 2nd doodle that much. they always come round in the end! and what a waste of valuable time waiting for that to happen. he will end up loving and spoiling the new dog more than you! (do, i mean.)

[wallisthedoodle]

You've bred from Jessie before why did you not just keep one thought thats why people breed?
or just do it again and say you couldnt sell one of them, simples

[SarahandMilly]

You've bred from Jessie before why did you not just keep one thought thats why people breed?
or just do it again and say you couldnt sell one of them, simples

This does seem a bit strange. If you are a breeder and have had loads of puppies in your home then why doesn't he let you have one more dog?? If he let you breed from your dog (I'm assuming he agreed or did you just announce she was pregnant ) then surely he would let you have another dog???

[Jennifer]

I know the feeling only too well of that desire to have something but your other half does not... we do have to be carful though as sometimes it’s us that are selfish for wanting and not our partners because they don’t.

The trouble is we can desire something so much that we think of nothing else and no amount of being persuaded it’s not practical for whatever reason falls on deaf ears. I too agree with Mrs A your other half has to want this the same as you, its not fair to push and push until you get what we want at the cost of how the other half feels, it will be a bitter sweet victory. We can convince ourselves they want it really, just to make us feel better... but there is a dog to consider here and the outcome may not fulfil the desire we thought we had because it becomes about the battle of wills to win (if that makes sense). The OH may not be the stubborn one !

My god I sound like I am on a bloody great high horse, I’m not I promise you, just really think about it practically and not emotionally and maybe as Mrs A says talk to him about fostering a dog ? this way you can both test how it would feel to have a second dog and the commitment it needs.

Good luck xxx

Oh my, I thought I was going to feel on top of the world when my hubby finally gave in but after reading this comment I now know why I didn't feel like that. I am very stubborn and won't back down but then if I had never approached the dog subject he never would have, I do agree that it has to be something that you both want, like kids, we both wanted them and yet have still found it incredibly difficult at times but we know we are in this together. I do wonder that if I were to get a dog and have problems there might be a 'it's your dog' moment!

[trinared]

My OH didnt see the need to get a second dog but I really wanted one. I showed my commitment and spent 4 months giving up smoking (best thing I ever did) to help with the cost and so he said we could have a second doodle.
Maybe a show of commitment/sacrifice like this would help you to prove how much it means to you?
However, although OH eventually agreed and loves them both to bits, we got Duffy just as OH started a new job working away all week. He knew how hard I would find 2 as he has had dogs before, but I didnt listen and really had no idea what he meant.
I do now! Double the time, double effort and definately more than double the cost (I do spoil them). More mess, more pulled limbs from walking two, more planning needed with everything. When I have them on my own it is hard.
If you do get a second doodle without you OH full commitment you will end up doing it on your own too and that will undoubtedly end in arguments and stress.
Even now OH says "well you wanted her" when I roll my eyes at the chewed table leg. BUT I know he adores her and doesnt mean it in a bad way. If I thought that having got Duffy was making him miserable/angry/bitter towards me I would be miserable too and in an awful position of choosing her or our relatinship.
Please dont risk putting yourself in that position

[SarahandMilly]

Jessie, have you had any luck yet???

[KateW]

I've been reading this thread with interest; we have never kept two dogs although we have usually had several cats and a very large parrot who needs plenty of attention to complement our dog. I grew up with multiple dogs but Tim had never had a dog at home so when we got together it was on the understanding that I would always want a dog when our circumstances allowed it....When our first dog arrived it was a sharp learning curve for Tim who used to try to make her see reason and was astonished at the mayhem a puppy can create. Now, many years later, he is quite good with dogs and has certainly always loved ours. I think he finds Rufus hugely satisfying as he is an action dog and loves retrieving, swimming,etc.

But we don't have an overwhelming desire to have two dogs simply because at the moment we have a great time with Rufus. He can come with us more or less everywhere; people invite him to dinner, to parties. If I have to go away for a few days to look after my 91 year old father I know that Tim can cope and if there was an emergency Rufus could go and stay with a friend at very short notice. I know that this would absolutely not be the case if we had two dogs and there is nowhere here that I would be happy to leave my dogs.

I'd never say never and Rufus is very happy to have dog friends to visit (except when they steal his birthday cake ). I think he would love to have a permanent companion but it will only happen if we both agree it would be for the best and are positive we could offer two dogs the sort of life currently enjoyed by Rufus.

Katherine

[jessie]

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR VERY VALUABLE COMMENTS! I have read and digested them all! Unfortunately Keith got wind of the fact that I had put this thread on and it made him angry and hurt that I was "discussing our life on a website". I did explain to him that I had downed an entire bottle of wine the night I had put the thread on the UKLA and I was feeling very low because Jessie wasn't pregnant as hoped! And it doesn't help when my friend has recently had a stunning litter - I would have LOVED to have had one of them - they are almost family!!

Most of you will be pleased to know that I have decided to put my feelings on hold for another couple of years - it certainly doesn't help being up to our eyes in debt and struggling financially. We are planning to do a major house move in two to three years and hopefully our lifestyle will then change and maybe just MAYBE we will be in a position to get my second doodle baby... Meanwhile Jessie remains a very loved up single dog!

Thank you one and all! Lesley x

[Dexter_Mir]

Only you can know if it’s the right decision or not but if life is a bit testing at the moment, then putting it on hold, whilst hard, could be a wise choice another dog could add a pressure to your family that you may not need right now...

And Lesley I just noticed that you live in Oxted, we are just down the road, well East Grinstead, if you ever want to borrow a doodle for a weekend you just have to ask ....

[LynneL]

Sounds a sensible decision to me. BUT I've enjoyed this thread and hearing of all the funny suggestions of how to get what we want. I was wondering, if it had been a man asking for the same sort of advice, what would the suggestions have been.

[wallisthedoodle]

what a whole load of cras this thread is................. so at the end of the day you have mated jessie, hoping for a litter and a nice little earner but alas it was not meant to be ,.....................oh dear, .................................

I did explain to him that I had downed an entire bottle of wine the night I had put the thread on the UKLA and I was feeling very low because Jessie wasn't pregnant as hoped! And it doesn't help when my friend has recently had a stunning litter -

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, mother nature had other intentions...................
wake up and smell the coffee !!!!

[jessie]

Wallisthedoodle - what bitter words! Perhaps it is you that needs help!!

[Hel&Mark]

what a whole load of cras this thread is................. so at the end of the day you have mated jessie, hoping for a litter and a nice little earner but alas it was not meant to be ,.....................oh dear, .................................

I did explain to him that I had downed an entire bottle of wine the night I had put the thread on the UKLA and I was feeling very low because Jessie wasn't pregnant as hoped! And it doesn't help when my friend has recently had a stunning litter -

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, mother nature had other intentions...................
wake up and smell the coffee !!!!

We are lucky enough to have one of Jessie's previous litter. I just feel, after the above comment, that I must say how very well cared for and loved the puppies were. Not just by Lesley, but by Keith and the family as a whole. Wallisthedoodle, I don't know why you would come on a forum just to rubbish someone else's thread. (Or why you use so many ........) Anyway, the point is, I am here to say that happily, your judgments of Lesley and co are wrong. Lesley adores the puppies, and it shows. I have some experience of dogs, and I think my family and me are fairly good judges of character. If you could see how Jessie is idolised in her family - there are photo albums, art work, toys, puppy boasting books, family trees... I could go on - It makes me laugh that people think they can come on here and judge people. Why does everything have to be taken so very seriously? And what's with the bitterness?

[amber]

Sounds a sensible decision to me. BUT I've enjoyed this thread and hearing of all the funny suggestions of how to get what we want. I was wondering, if it had been a man asking for the same sort of advice, what would the suggestions have been.

A man would have got his own way by now
Never mind Leslie.
There were a few lighthearted laughs though