Bullied.

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whirlwindmum
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Bullied.

Post by whirlwindmum » 23 Jun 2011, 23:21

Me and Alfie have just been bullied and intimidated at dog training school by another owner :evil:
Normal i would never allow anything like this to happen, I'm so upset that i didn't stop the stupid woman earlier. :cry:
We only started training classes about 7 weeks ago, because Alfie gets really silly around dogs and i had enough.
After the rough couple of weeks with my teenage son, i will admit i had let his training slip so all week we have both worked really hard and i was so excited about going to show everyone how much he had come on :D
Anyway there is 4 new over excited and mischievous dogs started last week, so there is now 12 in the group. So off course Alfie was really distracted when he was supposed to be sitting quietly and i was struggling to keep control of him. He kept barking and was getting up and down and trying to jump on another dog.
This women came over, whom has 2 well behaved dogs and showed me a half chock collar and put it on him and showed me how to use it. Alfie wasn't to happy about but immediately did as he was told and even though he was showing signs of distress, tail under ears back. She intimated me to use it. I did 1 sit and recall with it on he did perfect but refused to move at the end. I feel so ashamed that i allowed it to happen. :cry: :cry: We then did a couple more moves which he did perfect and i didn't need to pull his lead/ collar at all.
So time to leave i handed it back, but quick as a flash she said "He isn't getting away with it that lightly" shoved it back round his neck and marched of with my upset dog. Alfie sat down and refused to move and she just keep pulling him, he even laid down on his back frightened, at this stage i marched over ( with the dog trainer in hot pursuit) and shouted "That's enough" took Alfie and left. The only reason i wasn't in floods of tears was because i had my 15 year old son with me.
Since getting back Alfies been following me around everywhere, now hes fast asleep at my feet and keeps crying. :cry: :cry: :cry: I feel so terrible and so upset :cry:
Ive rang the dog trainer whom couldn't apologize enough and said she learnt a lesson from it as nothing like that had ever happened before and she should of noticed alot earlier what was happening and will deal with the situation.

Im just so worried that Alfie wont want to go back again. :cry:
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MrsAdmin
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Re: Bullied.

Post by MrsAdmin » 23 Jun 2011, 23:44

Do not blame yourself. You have had a rough time lately and are feeling very raw. No wonder you were vulnerable to this stupid woman's attitude. :twisted:

It's her that is at fault, not you, and certainly not Alfie.

Do try to be really positive or you will transmit your upset to Alfie. Phone the trainer and say that you do not want to come to class if this other woman is there again. It is up to her to sort it out. She should be in charge of the class, not her clients.

Maybe she has another class at another hall with nicer dogs you could transfer to on another night.

I am afraid there are loads of stupid people who think they know everything about training dogs (I have a MIL who thinks Barbara Woodhouse is the best thing ever - I try to avoid taking my two anywhere near her). Don't let this one incident undo all the good work you have put in with Alfie.

A pocketful of yummy treats tomorrow and lots of positive vibes so he soon forgets it all.

If anyone comes near you with a chock chain again, smile sweetly and say you always believe in setting a good example and suggest they put it on and you teach them what it feels like to be dragged around on it. :evil:
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Kirstie & Murphy
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Re: Bullied.

Post by Kirstie & Murphy » 23 Jun 2011, 23:48

Poor Alfie, I hope the trainer has kicked the lady out of classes-who does she think she is :evil:
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Bid
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Re: Bullied.

Post by Bid » 23 Jun 2011, 23:58

:shock: :shock: That lady was bang out of order! No wonder the trainer was embarassed!. She caught you on an off moment, so don't let that put you off!
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Liz!
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Re: Bullied.

Post by Liz! » 24 Jun 2011, 00:22

The trainer has too many dogs, this is her fault as much as that HORRIBLE woman. I think 6 dogs is about the upper limit, 8 absolute maximum, of what is sensible and manageable.

I wouldn't go back - I'd ask for a refund and go somewhere else. The classes and the expertise and attention of the trainer are crucial to how the dog learns and is happy learning.

Our first class was fine, well run and Lola got her bronze KC badge - but the hall was too small, it was noisy, and a husky bit her as there just wasn't room to keep them all safely apart during exercises. The husky was ousted but I felt there were still too many dogs at 7.

Now we go to a brilliant trainer, there are only 6 dogs, the hall is bigger, everything is a lot calmer, and boy is it a whole different ball game.

Poor Alfie, those collars should be banned. Oooh, I'd like to say a lot of things to that woman! Don't blame yourself, dog training is STRESSFUL. and nice people like you who are normally polite and thoughtful and careful of others' feelings find it very hard not to obey when put on the spot like that. You had no warning and were caught offbeat.
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brucey doodle
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Re: Bullied.

Post by brucey doodle » 24 Jun 2011, 00:45

I agree with liz far to many in the class there was only 6 in Bruces and the trainer wouldn't allow any form of chocker collar in the class.
Not long ago Bruce ran over to a lady and her jack Russell just wagging his tail didn't jump up or misbehave and the lady got her dogs lead and whipped Bruce on the back with it saying go away I ran over and found myself apologising like an idiot to her yes my dog was in the wrong for running over but since when did people think it's ok to treat someone else's dog in that way when I got home I was so angry that I never stud up for myself and Bruce but sometimes I think shock takes over and we react in a different way than we normally would so don't beat yourself up about it and I'm sure your next class will be a lot better
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watto
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Re: Bullied.

Post by watto » 24 Jun 2011, 06:37

You poor thing, you are having a rough time of it lately aren't you?

I can only agree with all the comments above. If there were fewer dogs in the group, the trainer would have seen what was going on and stopped her in her tracks. I am just like you, find it difficult to say no to people, don't blame yourself- that stupid woman is the one with the problem, not you!

Alfie will just move on as dogs do, just keep it all normal at home.

Thinking of you,

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watto
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Re: Bullied.

Post by watto » 24 Jun 2011, 06:43

Should also have said, one upside about dealing with challenging teenagers is that when you come out the other side, you will be a much more assertive person!! The last few years with mine have given us more confidence as you have to stand by your convictions! I'm greyer and sleep-deprived, but more confident! :lol: :lol:

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annvinton
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Re: Bullied.

Post by annvinton » 24 Jun 2011, 08:16

So sorry to hear of your and Alfie's bad experience. :(

The class is WAY too big and obviously the trainer can't cope.
She should have seen what was happening STRAIGHT away and stopped it immediately.
She effectively lost control of the class - if she even had any in the beginning.

I agree with Mrs Admin, ask if you can attend a different class with fewer dogs, or change trainers.

Ann & Ben

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Alibobs
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Re: Bullied.

Post by Alibobs » 24 Jun 2011, 09:11

What a horrible lady! How dare she take hold of your lovely Alfie :x I agree with the others in that the trainer had no control over the class and should tell that lady not to come back if she behaves in such a way. I am due to start puppy training in a week with Lola and hope that the classes are small and friendly. Dont be put off as training time should be fun and a time of bonding with your dogs. :D

Alison & Lola x
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campfaz18
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Re: Bullied.

Post by campfaz18 » 24 Jun 2011, 09:36

what a distressing situation for you and Alfie. I agree with the other posts ... you know your dog best and she was totally out of order! Hope you work things out ......
Nat, Lynne and the boy Jacob


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poodledoodleted
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Re: Bullied.

Post by poodledoodleted » 24 Jun 2011, 09:58

Poor you :( It really isn't your fault, It can be difficult in training and if you are not sure what to do and someone comes along and says do this you do it without even thinking about it.

I do think the class size is too big especially for dogs just starting out with training. Teds puppy classes had 5 pups, Bronze had 6. When he moved up to silver there were 9 in the first week but all had quite a good level of training and the hall is huge - and if there are a lot of dogs the trainer gets another trainer to join her. Also after the first week loads of people didn't come again :lol:

I also think dogs with different ability levels should be split up - for example, we have classes for nervous-reactive dogs, all the KCS and then some basic training, up to competitive obedience etc so you wouldn't have a no it all in the class and Alfie and you wouldn't feel pressurised.

Do not feel bad, Its the trainer and that ladies fault! You are trusting (and paying) the trainer to guide you and Alfie not cram a room full of dogs and let them get on with it.

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JeanG
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Re: Bullied.

Post by JeanG » 24 Jun 2011, 10:31

Hello again, hope you're feeling much better this morning! :)

Everyone's already said it all so i'm just adding sympathy - and empathy! I think I could have been intimidated just like you were. Unfortunately bullies/know-it-alls do exist and seize an opportunity to show their "superior knowledge" off. I can understand someone offering opinions or advice but to do what she did is inexcusable!!!

Our training class is actually quite large, there are usually about 8 - 10 of us there, but it's NOT a puppy class and we all know each other very well, the trainer is totally in control and knows the dogs and the owners well. So-called "fear training" is strictly forbidden and that lady would never have got away with what she did.

I hope you sort something out that suits you and Alfie and don't let this get you down. At the end of the day your dog will love you. Hers will be obedient, but only because they don't dare do otherwise! Sad really. :( :(

Hugs from Jean & Babybel xxx
Jean & Bella xxx
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whirlwindmum
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Re: Bullied.

Post by whirlwindmum » 24 Jun 2011, 15:11

Thanks everyone. :D Alfie totally fine today :D I'm tired had 2 wake up calls in the night. 1 from my drunken daughter whom had lost her friends ( student night out) :roll: and other from a noisy dh :evil:

You all totally right i think Ann sums it up well.
[quote="annvinton"]
The class is WAY too big and obviously the trainer can't cope.
She should have seen what was happening STRAIGHT away and stopped it immediately.
She effectively lost control of the class - if she even had any in the beginning.

Even if the woman is kicked out, they is no way i can stay now, Ive lost all my confidence in the trainer now. Alfie is doing his bronze next week, which i really want to do if i can get him though the doors.

I only left his training classes so late as they are really expensive in my area. £10 per lesson pay 6/10 lessons upfront. Which i cant afford.
I now know why there lessons are so cheap-lets keep cramming them in. :shock:
Alfie cant cope in a large class, hes a really good dog but gos into play-mode the minute he sees another dog, so nearly sitting on top of another dog is to much for him.
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i]Treena & Alfie[/i]

iceprincess10x
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Re: Bullied.

Post by iceprincess10x » 25 Jun 2011, 22:25

Don't feel bad you did stand up to the women and I hope you sort it out. I had something similar with a trainer trying to make Bailey wear one which I refuse to use. She is always saying to me he wouldn't do that if he had a half choak on but i won't let him wear it. I tried it as I knew no better and he ended up with a sore on his neck so never again! He is learning to behave himself because he gets nice treating not through being hurt!

I hope you sort everything out but don't beat yourself up!

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