Vent - lost my cool (bit long-winded)

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DiSet
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Joined: 01 Dec 2009, 19:42

Vent - lost my cool (bit long-winded)

Post by DiSet » 15 Mar 2014, 20:50

I had a bit of a run-in tonight with another dog walker. It roughly went like this.

I saw a woman with her dark greyhound/lurcher in front of me, on a badly lit path. So I waited for her to go. Kip was on his lead and we set off down the path. I didn't realise that she had turned around and was coming back towards us. When I did, I called and asked her, in a calm manner, if she would put her dog on a lead. She called her dog which promptly ignored her and ran towards us. Kip is scared/annoyed by big, black dogs (was once attacked by black lab), he mostly does ok with reassurance and treats, but it was dark and he became very agitated.

She kept on trying to call her dog and grab it. I really thought there was going to be a dog fight. There was a lot of growling and fronting up between the dogs, but I didn't want to let go of Kip because we weren't so far from a road. Anyway she finally managed to get her dog, said sorry but it was just because her dog was so friendly, the inference being that mine wasn't. I saw red - and told her that if her dog had been on a lead in the first place or if it had responded to its recall this wouldn't have happened, and that my dog is friendly under the correct circumstances.

Now I feel a bit guilty for getting annoyed now though, because thinking about it after, I think this woman might actually just be a girl (a tall one), and was probably a bit out of her depth. I'm sure I'll come across her again and it will be a bit difficult, but I was very unhappy about the situation. :( :(

If you've managed to get to the end of this post, thank you for reading, I feel a bit better now I've vented. :)

canteron
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Joined: 09 Feb 2012, 18:37

Re: Vent - lost my cool (bit long-winded)

Post by canteron » 15 Mar 2014, 21:03

I'm feeling a bit sorry for the other lady.
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Jay128
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Location: Liverpool

Re: Vent - lost my cool (bit long-winded)

Post by Jay128 » 15 Mar 2014, 21:14

It's good to vent in a safe and friendly environment. You where worried about Kip and we can all find it difficult when we think our furry friend is afraid or under attach. No doubt the lady/ tall teenager is at home venting to those she feels safe with. If you see her again it may be difficult but hopefully it will be a bright sunny day , you will all be more relaxed and you might get a chance to explain about Kips experience and why inital meetings can be difficult.
Try not to dwell on it to much :D
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Ianto!
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Re: Vent - lost my cool (bit long-winded)

Post by Ianto! » 15 Mar 2014, 21:50

Nothing much to add to Jay's post, except that Ianto is super-friendly with other dogs, doesn't always respond to recall and I'm thinking that I'd probably be in the other person's shoes... apologising and getting told off! I also know that, if Ianto had been frightened by another dog, I'd be upset too.

Let it go - and if you see her again, you can explain why you were so worried... Of course, I wasn't there so can't make any judgements. Just don't beat yourself up about it, life's too short...

Anne & Ianto xx

Sharon-Tilly
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Joined: 27 Feb 2014, 20:32

Re: Vent - lost my cool (bit long-winded)

Post by Sharon-Tilly » 15 Mar 2014, 22:09

What's happened happened, we all say things we regret in the fight or flight response. Let it go, no point beating yourself up about it x
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DiSet
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Joined: 01 Dec 2009, 19:42

Re: Vent - lost my cool (bit long-winded)

Post by DiSet » 15 Mar 2014, 22:19

I suppose I lost my cool when she implied it was my dog that wasn't friendly, when it was her dog that wouldn't leave mine alone and its body language wasn't friendly. We were on a public footpath, near a road and supermarket so I do think the onus was on her to have her dog under control. In hindsight I should have turned around and walked the other way immediately when I saw the other dog wasn't on a lead - next time eh?

You're right, if I see her again I'll try and make amends. In the meantime, back to the drawing board with socialising Kip with big, black dogs (frustrating because earlier on in the walk he'd managed to keep calm with a black lab we'd met). I am coming to understand that dog ownership is a constant learning curve, and sometimes I've got to keep my big trap shut :oops:

Ianto!
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Re: Vent - lost my cool (bit long-winded)

Post by Ianto! » 15 Mar 2014, 22:32

DiSet wrote:and sometimes I've got to keep my big trap shut
Oooo! If only I could learn that one!! :roll: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Anne & Ianto xx

Doodle Dee
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Re: Vent - lost my cool (bit long-winded)

Post by Doodle Dee » 15 Mar 2014, 23:43

Every action has a reaction - and yours was that

I wouldn't have had the guts to say anything but just tut and glare and same "come on lulu"
Lulu & Dx

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DiSet
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Joined: 01 Dec 2009, 19:42

Re: Vent - lost my cool (bit long-winded)

Post by DiSet » 16 Mar 2014, 12:47

Thanks for replying everyone. Your posts helped me see reason.

I took Kip out for his walk about 8.15 this morning and the first people we met were this lady (not a girl thank goodness) and her dog. So I approached her and asked if she was the lady I'd met last night. She said yes. At this point I apologised profusely for my intolerance and grumpiness. She said she was sorry and that should she have put her dog on the lead quicker. After a bit more of me apologising and her laughing and saying things were fine, we parted company.

(The whole way through this the dogs seemed chilled and a bit disinterested, so no harm done) :)

oakesr
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Re: Vent - lost my cool (bit long-winded)

Post by oakesr » 16 Mar 2014, 15:27

What a nice end - I bet you were both fuming last night and I bet you both feel much better today.
Rachel & Roma
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Jay128
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Re: Vent - lost my cool (bit long-winded)

Post by Jay128 » 16 Mar 2014, 17:04

Well done you. It's amazing what a few hours can do. :D
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Manda64
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Re: Vent - lost my cool (bit long-winded)

Post by Manda64 » 16 Mar 2014, 17:43

Flint is a typical doodle who wants to play and be friends with all types of dogs, but twice when he was on his lead (not in the local parks where he loves running about and sometimes ignoring his recall!) he has been bitten by other aggressive dogs who are off lead. I'm glad you bumped into the other woman this morning and if broken now all fences are mended. I have great sympathy with both of you! :roll:
Amanda
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canteron
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Re: Vent - lost my cool (bit long-winded)

Post by canteron » 16 Mar 2014, 18:51

Brilliant, really well handled!
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Bid
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Re: Vent - lost my cool (bit long-winded)

Post by Bid » 16 Mar 2014, 19:12

So glad you had a happy ending :D :D I find apologising goes a long way towards sorting out any doodle-initiated incidents! :lol:
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Beauty without vanity, strength without insolence, courage without ferocity, and all the virtues of man without his vices - Byron

Ianto!
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Re: Vent - lost my cool (bit long-winded)

Post by Ianto! » 16 Mar 2014, 21:17

Di,
I think you'd already seen reason... :D But so glad that you and the other owner have had the chance to talk and reconcile.
Anne & Ianto xx

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