Change of topic...A little light womens humour!!!!

You can use this area for idle or not so idle chat that is not related to Labradoodles as long as you keep it free of flame wars and anything obscene.
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frosty
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Change of topic...A little light womens humour!!!!

Post by frosty » 11 Dec 2006, 10:17

One day a woman freed a frog from capture and was given 3 wishes for her kindness, the frog said, Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman
said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the
world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your
husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the
world. And he will be ten times richer than you. " The woman said, "That's
okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd
like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story:

Women are clever. Don't mess with them.



My boyfriend, not happy with my mood swings, bought
me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my
moods. When I'm in a good mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad
mood it leaves a big bloody red mark on his forehead. Maybe next
time he'll buy me a diamond.

A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going
to make you the happiest woman in the world." The
woman says, "I'll miss you."

He said 'Shall we try swapping positions tonight?'.
She said 'That's a good idea... you stand by the
ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart'.

He said 'What have you been doing with all the
grocery money that I gave you?'.
She said 'Turn sideways and look in the mirror you
fat b****rd'.

And finally...

Q:What makes men chase women they have no intention
of marrying?
A:The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have
no intention of driving
Last edited by frosty on 11 Dec 2006, 11:08, edited 1 time in total.
"The reason dogs have so many friends is because they wag their tails instead of their tongues."

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Jackie M
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Location: Derbyshire

Post by Jackie M » 11 Dec 2006, 10:21

Hi Frosty,

This is a hoax, there isn't a virus.
My husband deals with computers and gets loads of these from worried people.
They are designed to clog up emails and cause a nuisance.
This particular one has been around since 2002.

If ever in doubt you can google for info - put in Life is Beautiful virus and there is some info there.

Hope this helps.
Image

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frosty
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Location: Manchester

Post by frosty » 11 Dec 2006, 10:27

Cheers Jackie....I will remove it...

Worrying thing is I just received this at work, and I work for an IT co :?: :?: :?:
"The reason dogs have so many friends is because they wag their tails instead of their tongues."

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Jackie M
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Post by Jackie M » 11 Dec 2006, 10:31

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Image

GUNNER
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Post by GUNNER » 11 Dec 2006, 11:22

Brilliant, thats cheered up a miserable grey monday morningImage

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claire fifi
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Post by claire fifi » 11 Dec 2006, 13:54

Thought this would make you laugh - my sister phoned me in a rage this morning because her boyfriend threw her vibrator across the room and broke it :oops: Later on she found that he had put it back in the box, all back together neatly. Trouble is, she switched it on and after a brief spell of buzzing it started to slow down and then stopped ...... "JUST LIKE A REAL MAN" I reassured her .. :shock:

She was not amused ! Should I buy her a new one for Xmas ? :lol:
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GUNNER
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Post by GUNNER » 11 Dec 2006, 14:06

:lol: :lol:
As long as it arrives in plain packaging, don't want your young son thinking it's a light sabre Image

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claire fifi
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Post by claire fifi » 11 Dec 2006, 14:12

HE HE :lol:

Yes, I would have to ask her to go in a seperate room to unwrap it ! Just imagine the looks on the faces - Grandparents, small kids...... :oops: I'm kind of tempted... :shock:
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Susie
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Post by Susie » 11 Dec 2006, 17:00

You do have a wicked streak Claire, :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

terry
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Post by terry » 11 Dec 2006, 18:24

a man said to his wife tell me something that will make me happy &sad all in one sentence,wife replies your willy is bigger than your brothers

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claire fifi
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Post by claire fifi » 11 Dec 2006, 18:36

This is really degenerating :shock:

Good, I like it. :lol:
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frosty
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Post by frosty » 11 Dec 2006, 21:44

Gonna have to buy her one now.....just imagine your grannie getting hold of it and thinking its some kind of "kitchen appliance" LOL :lol: Image


Got to admit a similar thing happened to me....My mum bought me some clothes from Ted Baker a couple of years ago and they were putting what she thought was chocolate money in all the bags as an xmas gesture!!

My mum in her wisdom decided to put them in my grans hamper she always did for her at xmas, not realising they were actually condoms!!!!

Absolute picture on xmas day when she offered them round and then opened one herself :oops: (very prudish lady my gran) ...I had to go out of the room I was that hysterical Image...still makes me laugh today...God bless her sole!!!
"The reason dogs have so many friends is because they wag their tails instead of their tongues."

GUNNER
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Post by GUNNER » 12 Dec 2006, 10:56

Brilliant story Frosty. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Sharon
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Post by Sharon » 12 Dec 2006, 11:18

terry wrote:a man said to his wife tell me something that will make me happy &sad all in one sentence,wife replies your willy is bigger than your brothers
rofl ! :lol:

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claire fifi
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Post by claire fifi » 12 Dec 2006, 12:12

Frosty, that is such a lovely story ! My dear mum is just as ditzy - but she takes it all in good humour, so she is ripe for the winding up ! She had a mastectomy about 4 years ago, due to recurrent breast cancer. Luckily, no chemo required. Anyway, she has never bothered to get a prosthetic to stick in the empty bra cup but shoves a sock or two down there ! :shock: Of course, they are always slipping upwards - and we are always pulling her leg about it. So this year, I might try and find some of those "chicken fillets" that breast-tastically challenged girls use to give extra "umph" - what do you reckon girls ? :lol:

Where can I get these things ?
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