Made me laugh......Mama's Bible

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linny
Posts: 4990
Joined: 30 Oct 2007, 11:25
Location: Newton Abbot Devon
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Made me laugh......Mama's Bible

Post by linny » 12 Jan 2014, 21:30

Thought you might enjoy this ......it was sent to me by a friend in the States.


Mama's Bible
Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors
and lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner
together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly
mother who lived far away in another city.
The 1st said, " I had a big house built for Mama. "
The 2nd said, " I had a $100,000 theatre built in the house. "
The 3rd said, " I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her. "
The 4th said, " You know how Mamma loved reading the Bible and you know
she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher
who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire bible. It took 20
preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year
for 20 years to the church, but it was worth it. Mamma just has to name
the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it. "
The other brothers were impressed. After the holidays Mum sent out her
Thank You notes.
She wrote:
" Milton , the house you built is so huge I live in only one room, but I
have to clean the whole house.Thanks anyway. "
" Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries
delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks. "
" Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound. It could
hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm
nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture; just the same.
"
" Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a
little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you”
Luv Ya, Mama

Doodle Dee
Posts: 3346
Joined: 30 Dec 2012, 13:50
Location: Waltham Abbey
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Re: Made me laugh......Mama's Bible

Post by Doodle Dee » 12 Jan 2014, 23:13

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Lulu & Dx

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pixie's mum
Posts: 2445
Joined: 22 Nov 2011, 19:22
Location: Cheshire

Re: Made me laugh......Mama's Bible

Post by pixie's mum » 13 Jan 2014, 12:46

Oh my! Very funny though
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molsp
Posts: 782
Joined: 12 Apr 2013, 19:08

Re: Made me laugh......Mama's Bible

Post by molsp » 13 Jan 2014, 21:15

:lol: :lol: :lol: very good.

We had this really spooky ghost story from a friend of ours over xmas:

his story happened a while ago in Dublin, and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, its said to be true!

John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm.

The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door.. only to realise there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on

The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a bend approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life. Then, just before the car hit the bend, a hand appeared out of nowhere through the window and turned the wheel. John, paralysed with terror, watched as the hand came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.

Shortly thereafter John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to it. Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had.

A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realised he was crying and.... wasn't drunk.

Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the dark and stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath. Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other...

'Look Paddy.....there's that fecking eejit that got in the car while we were pushing it!'
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Doug1
Posts: 38
Joined: 23 Apr 2013, 12:12
Location: Eversley, Hampshire

Re: Made me laugh......Mama's Bible

Post by Doug1 » 13 Jan 2014, 22:24

Fab, fab, fab, both of you. After a very stressful day, both these stories made me laugh!

Sx

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